The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier Summary
Overview of The Advice Trap
In "The Advice Trap," Michael Bungay Stanier challenges your instinct to solve everyone's problems. Endorsed by Brene Brown and viewed 1.5 million times on TEDx, this follow-up to his million-copy bestseller reveals why curiosity - not advice - creates breakthrough leadership.
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Key takeaways
The Advice Monster: Why We Rush to Give Solutions
Imagine you're in a meeting when a colleague shares a problem. Before they've even finished explaining, you're already formulating advice. Sound familiar? This reflexive urge to solve others' problems is what Michael Bungay Stanier calls "the Advice Trap" - a pattern that undermines leadership effectiveness despite our best intentions. Why does our advice work less effectively than we think? Two fundamental reasons: we're often solving the wrong problem, and even when we're addressing the right challenge, our solutions are mediocre at best. When someone approaches with an issue, your "Advice Monster" immediately jumps to fix the first challenge mentioned rather than discovering what's really going on. The first problem shared is rarely the real one - it might be a symptom, a guess, or simply the most visible issue. By rushing to solve it, you miss addressing what truly matters. Even when you identify the right problem, you're operating with incomplete information - a mix of partial facts, assumptions, and opinions - while overestimating your own brilliance. The real cost? Dysfunctional work patterns that ripple through organizations. Advice-giving demotivates others by undermining their autonomy and signals they're only valued for implementing others' ideas, not for thinking. Meanwhile, advice-givers become overwhelmed by unnecessarily taking on everyone else's problems, creating bottlenecks that compromise team effectiveness. You can't scale your impact when everyone depends on you for answers.
The Three Faces of Your Advice Monster
The Hard Change: Becoming More Coach-Like
Seven Questions That Transform Conversations
Finding the Real Challenge: Six Conversation Patterns to Overcome
Creating Safety: The TERA Framework
The Courage to Be Curious: Testing Your Fears
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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