Advice Not Given by Mark Epstein Summary
Overview of Advice Not Given
In "Advice Not Given," psychiatrist Mark Epstein masterfully blends Buddhist wisdom with Western psychotherapy, creating a revolutionary guide to self-liberation. Ann Patchett calls him "both great psychiatrist and Buddhist teacher" - a rare combination that's transforming how we approach mindfulness and mental health.
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Key takeaways
The Dance Between Buddhism and Modern Psychology
Imagine having a backseat driver in your mind who constantly criticizes your choices, demands perfection, and never seems satisfied with your achievements. This is the ego-our sense of "I" or "me"-and according to Mark Epstein, it's the common affliction we all share. Even those who appear wildly successful often struggle with anxiety and dissatisfaction because they don't know how to loosen the ego's grip. While our culture encourages endless self-improvement to build a stronger sense of self, Epstein reveals a paradoxical truth: true well-being comes not just from strengthening the ego but from learning when to let it go. Both Buddhist psychology and Western psychotherapy identified the untamed ego as the limiting factor in our happiness. Neither tradition seeks to eliminate it-we need our egos to navigate daily life-but both aim to rebalance it through self-reflection. Freud empowered the observing "I" through free association and dream analysis, while Buddhism teaches mindfulness to help people watch their minds without believing everything they think. In deep meditation, one's usual identity temporarily falls away, leaving only mirrorlike awareness - a freedom from the ego-driven state that comes as profound relief. When we learn to observe our minds with compassion rather than judgment, we discover that our most persistent problems often stem from our relationship with ourselves rather than external circumstances. This intersection between Eastern and Western approaches offers something revolutionary: a comprehensive way to work with our egos rather than being controlled by them.
Embracing Impermanence: The Foundation of Right View and Motivation
The Power of Inner Dialogue: Right Speech and Action
Beyond Success: Right Livelihood in a Material World
The Middle Path: Finding Balance Through Right Effort
Beyond the Ego: Finding Freedom in Impermanence
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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