She Comes First by Ian Kerner Summary
Overview of She Comes First
Revolutionizing intimacy, "She Comes First" teaches men the art of pleasuring women through oral techniques. Endorsed by "Sex and the City" producers and hailed by GQ as essential reading, this NYT bestseller transformed bedroom dynamics by redefining foreplay as "coreplay" - sparking a cultural shift toward female satisfaction.
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Key takeaways
The Art of Pleasure: Revolutionizing Intimacy
When Ian Kerner found himself struggling with premature ejaculation, he didn't surrender to sexual inadequacy. Instead, he mastered cunnilingus, discovering that the tongue could deliver what many women rarely achieve through intercourse alone: consistent, powerful orgasms. This revelation transformed not just his relationships but sparked a sexual philosophy that has changed bedrooms worldwide. The statistics tell a compelling story: while three-quarters of men reach orgasm within two minutes of penetration, less than a third of women consistently climax during intercourse. Yet when partners spend at least 21 minutes on foreplay, 92.3% of women reach orgasm consistently. The solution becomes clear: postpone male gratification until after a woman achieves her first orgasm. This isn't anti-intercourse but pro-mutual satisfaction, addressing women's number one complaint to sex therapists: the inability to orgasm during traditional intercourse. When we recognize the clitoris as the epicenter of female pleasure, we liberate ourselves from performance anxiety and open up to creative ways of giving pleasure with our entire being.
The Clitoris: More Than Meets the Eye
From Victorian Repression to Sexual Liberation
The Drama of Arousal: A Three-Act Performance
Essential Techniques: Building the Foundation
The Art of the Finish: Reading Her Body's Signals
Beyond the First: Creating Deeper Connection
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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