Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Summary
Overview of Come As You Are
Revolutionizing female sexuality, "Come As You Are" reveals why every woman's pleasure is unique as a fingerprint. This NYT bestseller dismantles myths, explains how stress impacts desire, and offers science-backed validation that's changed countless readers' lives. What's blocking your sexual wellbeing?
Similar books to Come As You Are
Feel the book through the author's voice
Turn knowledge into engaging, example-rich insights
Capture key ideas in a flash for fast learning
Enjoy the book in a fun and engaging way
Key takeaways
Your Sexuality Isn't Broken-The Map Is
Here's a startling truth: only 30% of women reliably orgasm from intercourse alone. If you're among the other 70%, you've probably wondered what's wrong with you. The answer? Absolutely nothing. For decades, science approached female sexuality as a slightly defective version of male sexuality, assuming women should experience spontaneous desire, that physical arousal should match mental interest, and that vaginal penetration should reliably produce orgasm. These assumptions weren't based on how women's bodies actually work-they were based on treating male sexuality as the default setting. This fundamental misunderstanding has left countless women feeling broken when they're actually completely normal. Understanding how your unique sexuality functions isn't about fixing yourself; it's about recognizing that you've been handed the wrong instruction manual. Cultural scripts act as "maps" of sexuality, often unreliable ones. When our actual experiences don't match these maps, we try to force our experiences to fit rather than updating our maps. When the map doesn't match the terrain, the map is wrong, not your body.
The Hidden Architecture of Pleasure and Desire
Your Sexual Accelerator and Brakes
When Context Changes Everything and Bodies Disagree with Minds
The Stress That Steals Desire
The Myth of the Sex Drive
Come as You Are
Quick Summary Mode - Read or listen to Come As You Are Summary in 10 Minutes
Break down key ideas from Come As You Are into bite-sized takeaways to understand how innovative teams create, collaborate, and grow.
Flash Card Mode - Top 11 Insights from Come As You Are in a Nutshell
Distill Come As You Are into rapid-fire memory cues that highlight Pixar’s principles of candor, teamwork, and creative resilience.
Fun Mode - Come As You Are Lessons Told Through 26-Min Stories
Experience Come As You Are through vivid storytelling that turns Pixar’s innovation lessons into moments you’ll remember and apply.
Personalize Mode - Read or listen to Come As You Are Summary in 0 Minutes
Ask anything, pick the voice, and co-create insights that truly resonate with you.
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
Get the Come As You Are summary as a free PDF or EPUB. Print it or read offline anytime.