Anxiously Attached book cover

Anxiously Attached by Jessica Baum Summary

Anxiously Attached
Jessica Baum
4.03 (3517 Reviews)
Relationship
Psychology
Self-growth
Mindfulness
Overview
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Overview of Anxiously Attached

"Anxiously Attached" reveals how 47 million Americans struggle with anxious attachment. Jessica Baum's revolutionary Self-full Method offers science-backed strategies for creating secure relationships. What if the key to love isn't finding the right person, but becoming the right person for yourself first?

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Key takeaways

1

The Anxious Heart: Understanding Your Attachment Blueprint

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Have you ever found yourself obsessively checking your phone for a text back, feeling waves of panic when your partner needs space, or sacrificing your own needs to keep someone close? This isn't weakness or neediness-it's your attachment system at work. We're biologically wired for connection from our very first breath. When caregivers respond inconsistently to a child's needs-sometimes attentive, sometimes distant-anxious attachment develops. The child learns that love is unpredictable and becomes hypervigilant about potential abandonment. This pattern follows us into adulthood, where it shapes our romantic relationships in profound ways. Research shows about 25% of people have anxious attachment, while 19% are avoidant (those who flee from intimacy) and 56% secure (those who balance connection and independence comfortably). Interestingly, anxious and avoidant people often find themselves magnetically drawn to each other, creating a painful dance where one partner desperately seeks connection while the other pulls away in fear. What makes this pattern so difficult to break is that it operates below conscious awareness. When your partner doesn't text back, your rational mind knows they're probably just busy, but your body enters full fight-or-flight mode-heart racing, thoughts spiraling, and rational thinking shutting down as your nervous system prepares to fight for connection or flee from rejection.

2

The Little Me Pact: How Childhood Shapes Adult Love

3

The Anxious-Avoidant Dance: A Painful Tango

4

Becoming Self-Full: The Heart of Healing

5

Healing Your Little Me from the Inside Out

6

From Selfless to Self-Full: Finding Your Center

7

The Transformational Power of Love

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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
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comments
12
likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments
96
likes
4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
star
star
star
star
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"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
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comments
201
thumbsUp
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
star
star
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments
37
likes
483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
star
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star
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"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments
12
likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments
96
likes
4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
platform
comments
201
thumbsUp
16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments
37
likes
483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
star
star
star
star
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