Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal by Ben Sasse Summary
Overview of Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal
In "Them," Senator Ben Sasse diagnoses America's loneliness epidemic and political tribalism. This New York Times bestseller challenges both parties, offering a roadmap back to community. What if our digital connections are actually driving us further apart?
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Key takeaways
When Loneliness Became a National Emergency
Picture opening your front door to find your neighbor collapsed on their porch, dead for three days in sweltering heat-and realizing you never even knew their name. This wasn't a hypothetical tragedy. During Chicago's 1995 heat wave, 739 people died, most of them alone in their apartments while neighbors went about their lives just feet away. The coroners who investigated discovered something chilling: the victims didn't die from lack of air conditioning. They died from lack of connection. In neighborhoods where people knew each other, residents survived because someone checked on them. In isolated neighborhoods, people perished in silence. This pattern reveals a truth we'd rather not face: loneliness is killing us, literally. Your body treats a lonely day like smoking an entire pack of cigarettes. Chronic isolation increases your risk of premature death by 25%-more than obesity, more than heavy drinking. Yet we've built a society that manufactures loneliness at industrial scale. A fifth of Americans now cite loneliness as "a major source of unhappiness." Among those over 45, a third struggle with what researchers call "chronic loneliness." And these numbers likely understate the crisis, because we've become so uncomfortable with the word "lonely" that we call it "depression" instead-a clinical diagnosis feels less shameful than admitting we're simply... alone.
The Great Fracturing: How America Split in Two
Work Without Identity: The Coming Disruption
The Outrage Machine: How Media Profits from Our Pain
Silicon Valley's Dark Secret: The Addiction They Won't Touch
Putting Down Roots in a Rootless Age
From Them to We: The Only Politics That Matters
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From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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