The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages book cover

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages by Shaunti Feldhahn Summary

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages
Shaunti Feldhahn
4.35 (503 Reviews)
Relationship
Psychology
Self-growth
Communication skill
Overview
Key Takeaways
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Overview of The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages

Discover the research-backed secrets of thriving marriages from Shaunti Feldhahn's groundbreaking study. Featured on The Today Show and praised by relationship experts, this book reveals counterintuitive habits - like going to bed mad - that transform ordinary marriages into extraordinarily happy ones.

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Key takeaways

1

What Most Marriage Advice Gets Wrong

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Picture a wife devastated because her husband forgot their anniversary dinner-not because she missed the fancy meal, but because he didn't squeeze her hand during church that morning. Or imagine a husband who feels unappreciated despite his wife's constant declarations of love, simply because she never says "thank you" when he takes out the trash. These aren't trivial complaints from demanding spouses. They're windows into one of the most surprising discoveries about truly happy marriages: the things that matter most are almost never what we think they are. After studying over 2,000 couples for three years, a pattern emerged that contradicts nearly everything popular culture teaches about relationships. The happiest marriages don't follow conventional wisdom. They don't require expensive therapy, elaborate date nights, or perfectly matched personalities. Instead, they're built on counterintuitive habits so simple they seem almost too easy-yet so powerful they transform struggling relationships into thriving partnerships. What if the difference between settling for "good enough" and experiencing genuine marital joy isn't about finding the right person, but about discovering what's been hiding in plain sight all along?

2

The Transformative Power of Small Gestures

3

Choosing Belief Over Suspicion and Keeping Score the Right Way

4

Rethinking Bedtime Battles

5

Herding Your Emotions

6

The Ideal That Destroys Ideals

7

Building Your Life on Something Bigger

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The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages isn't just a book — it's a masterclass in Relationship. To help you absorb its lessons in the way that works best for you, we offer five unique learning modes. Whether you're a deep thinker, a fast learner, or a story lover, there's a mode designed to fit your style.

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@Matt, YC alum
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108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
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star
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"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
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