Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts - Seven Questions to Ask Before (and after) You Marry by Les Parrott III Summary
Overview of Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts - Seven Questions to Ask Before (and after) You Marry
Discover why over a million couples trust this Oprah-featured marriage guide. What question do eHarmony's founder and the Parrotts agree is essential before saying "I do"? Their seven-question framework transforms relationships from Seattle classrooms to global counseling centers.
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Key takeaways
The Marriage Blueprint: Expectations vs. Reality
Imagine spending thousands on a perfect wedding day only to find yourself in therapy during your first year of marriage. This happened to Les and Leslie Parrott, who despite dating for six years and enjoying a nine-month engagement, were blindsided by the challenges of merging two lives. They're not alone. While couples obsess over wedding details, less than 20% invest in actual marriage preparation, despite alarming statistics showing 43% of marriages won't survive, with over 200,000 ending before their second anniversary. Marriage begins with expectations, not just rings. These unconscious expectations - formed through family experiences, media portrayals, and personal hopes - create the invisible architecture of our relationships. When reality inevitably differs from these unspoken dreams, disappointment and conflict follow. Think about it: how many conversations did you have about who manages the finances, navigates on trips, or plans holidays before saying "I do"? The truth is, we all bring "unspoken rules" and "unconscious roles" into marriage. When these hidden expectations clash, even the most loving couples find themselves in bewildering conflicts. Successful marriages don't avoid these clashes - they make the implicit explicit, transforming unconscious assumptions into conscious agreements that both partners understand and accept.
Dismantling Marriage Myths and Building Love's Triangle
The Attitude Adjustment: Choosing Happiness in Marriage
The Communication Bridge: Beyond Words
The Gender Dance: Understanding Differences
Conflict as Growth: Fighting for Intimacy
The Spiritual Connection: Becoming Soul Mates
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
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From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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