It's On Me by Sara Kuburic Summary
Overview of It's On Me
Feeling lost? "It's On Me" is Sara Kuburic's revolutionary guide to reclaiming your authentic self. Praised by bestselling author Yung Pueblo as "brilliantly reconnecting us with meaning and empowerment," this book transforms the concept of self-loss into a profound journey toward vibrant, aligned living.
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Key takeaways
When You Wake Up a Stranger to Yourself
Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt like you're staring at someone you don't quite recognize? Not physically-but something deeper, more unsettling. There's a peculiar epidemic sweeping through modern life, one that causes little visible disruption yet devastates us from within: self-loss. It's that gnawing feeling of being disconnected from who you truly are, of living a life that feels more like a performance than an authentic existence. Sara Kuburic experienced this firsthand at twenty-four when a friend's simple question-"Are you happy?"-shattered her carefully maintained facade. Despite surviving war and having outward success, she found herself trapped in a loveless marriage, exhausting herself with pretense, drowning in inauthenticity. Her journey from that breaking point to becoming an existential psychotherapist reveals something crucial: in a world obsessed with productivity, achievement, and curated online personas, we've forgotten how to simply be ourselves. This isn't about self-improvement or optimization-it's about reclaiming the most fundamental relationship you'll ever have. Self-loss manifests like sitting calmly in a room engulfed in flames, continuing mundane activities while danger surrounds you. Consider someone we'll call Alex. She starts each day scrolling through social media, comparing herself to strangers, rushing to prepare herself for others' judgments while ignoring her own needs. She forces smiles at work, barely tastes her food, exercises from self-hatred rather than self-care, and collapses into bed staring at screens until exhaustion claims her. Alex has become comfortable in her burning room, sinking deeper into disconnection with each passing day. What makes self-loss particularly insidious is that nobody chooses it intentionally. Yet intention becomes irrelevant in the face of consequences. Like a house fire, it doesn't matter whether it started accidentally or deliberately-it still needs extinguishing.
The Five Faces of Self-Loss and the Path to Reorientation
Freedom, Responsibility, and the Burden of Becoming
Creating Meaning in Your Finite Existence
The Origins of Self-Loss and the Patterns We Repeat
Boundaries, Bodies, and the Architecture of Authenticity
Embracing Emotions and Living Your Self Every Day
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From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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