It's OK That You're Not OK book cover

It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine Summary

It's OK That You're Not OK
Megan Devine
4.36 (13943 Reviews)
Psychology
Mindfulness
Health
Overview
Key Takeaways
Author
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Overview of It's OK That You're Not OK

In "It's OK That You're Not OK," Megan Devine revolutionizes grief support by challenging our rush-to-heal culture. Drawing from personal tragedy, she offers what countless readers call "permission to grieve authentically." Why has this compassionate manifesto become essential reading for therapists and the heartbroken alike?

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Key takeaways

1

When Grief Defies Our Cultural Expectations

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Grief is perhaps the most misunderstood human experience. We live in a society that expects grief to follow a tidy timeline, resolve quickly, and ultimately transform us into better, wiser people. But real grief doesn't work that way. It's messy, unpredictable, and refuses to follow any prescribed path. When profound loss enters our lives, we're often met with well-intentioned platitudes: "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place now." These seemingly comforting phrases carry an unspoken message: "...so stop feeling so bad." This cultural discomfort with pain creates a terrible isolation. When we're grieving, we discover that many people simply don't know how to be present with our suffering. They offer advice, judge our process, or urge us to move on before we're ready. The problem isn't that grieving people are doing it wrong - it's that our culture hasn't equipped us with the skills to approach grief with compassion and patience. Even the medical establishment pathologizes normal grief responses, considering grief lasting longer than six months to be potentially disordered. In practice, the timeline is even shorter - many professionals consider being deeply affected after just a couple of weeks to be problematic. This medicalization of a normal, sane response to loss serves no one and adds unnecessary suffering to those already in pain.

2

The Tyranny of Positive Thinking and Finding a Middle Path

3

The Physical and Cognitive Reality of Grief

4

Pain Versus Suffering: What Can Be Tended

5

Finding Your Tribe in the Aftermath

6

Love Is the Only Thing That Remains

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@Raaaaaachelw
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
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@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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254
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@djmikemoore
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@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
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"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
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96
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@SofiaP
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"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
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@OojasSalunke
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@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
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