How Not To Be a Boy by Robert Webb Summary
Overview of How Not To Be a Boy
In "How Not to Be a Boy," comedian Robert Webb hilariously dismantles toxic masculinity while breaking your heart. This Sunday Times bestseller sparked nationwide conversations about gender roles, with critics calling it both "disarming" and "impactful." What happens when boys finally cry?
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Key takeaways
When Masculinity Becomes a Cage
A fifteen-year-old boy stares at his bedroom wall, where Van Gogh prints have replaced Star Wars posters. He's plotting how to impress a sixth-former through his end-of-term sketch show, trapped between who he's supposed to be and who he actually is. This isn't just teenage angst-it's the beginning of a lifelong reckoning with what it means to be male in a world that writes the script before you can speak. Growing up means learning the rules, but what happens when those rules are designed to break you? What if the very things we teach boys to become-tough, unemotional, dominant-are the things that destroy their capacity for connection, joy, and wholeness? In a respectable Lincolnshire village, a father looms like a storm cloud. He knocks boys off chairs at dinner. He thrashes his son with his own shorts for no clear reason. He laughs when children fall down stairs because pain is something to be conquered, not felt. This wasn't sadism-it was parenting. In the 1970s, this was what fathers did: worked dangerous jobs, drank heavily, kept order through fear. The man everyone loved at the pub was a different person behind closed doors, and his wife bore the weight of that difference until she couldn't anymore.
Learning Violence as Love
The Performance of Being Male
When the Center Cannot Hold
Comedy as Armor, Success as Substitute
The Reckoning Arrives
Becoming Fully Human
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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