Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein Summary
Overview of Boys and Sex
In "Boys & Sex," Peggy Orenstein shatters myths about young male sexuality through interviews with 100+ boys. This New York Times bestseller exposes how porn educates teens while challenging toxic masculinity. What uncomfortable truth about consent are we afraid to tell our sons?
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Key takeaways
When Boys Learn Sex from Silence
Picture a generation of young men navigating sexuality with no roadmap, learning everything from the worst possible teachers. When the #MeToo movement swept across America, parents of daughters felt vindicated-finally, the culture was addressing sexual misconduct. But parents of sons faced a more unsettling realization: they'd been raising boys in a vacuum, assuming silence would somehow produce good men. The result? Young men cobbling together their understanding of sex, relationships, and masculinity from porn, locker room talk, and hookup culture's unwritten rules. Through conversations with over 100 young men aged 16-22, a troubling pattern emerges-boys desperately want guidance but rarely receive it from the adults in their lives. Even Barack Obama recognized the urgency, adding this exploration to his 2020 summer reading list. What these young men reveal isn't just about sex-it's about an entire generation caught between outdated masculine ideals and new expectations, trying to figure out who they're supposed to become.
The Emotional Straightjacket
The Accidental Sex Educators
The Hookup Culture Paradox
When the Rules Don't Fit
The Gray Zones of Consent
Reclaiming Boyhood, Redefining Manhood
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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