Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) by M. Tamra Chandler and Laura Dowling Grealish Summary
Overview of Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)
Transform your dreaded feedback moments into powerful growth catalysts. "Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)" revolutionizes workplace culture by redefining how we give and receive input. Business leaders praise its practical strategies for making feedback focused, fair, and frequent - the three Fs that turn criticism into opportunity.
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Key takeaways
Why We Fear the Words "I Have Some Feedback for You"
Ever notice how your stomach clenches when someone says, "Can we talk about your performance?" That physical reaction-racing heart, sweaty palms, tunnel vision-isn't just in your head. It's your ancient brain treating feedback like a charging predator. Yet here's the puzzle: while 62% of employees say they want more feedback, most of us avoid giving or asking for it. This contradiction reveals something profound about how we've broken feedback. What should be a gift-information to help us grow-has become a weapon we wield clumsily or dodge entirely. Organizations like Microsoft and Nike have recognized this crisis, and the solution isn't better feedback forms or annual review tweaks. It requires reimagining feedback entirely: transforming it from a fear-inducing ordeal into something that actually helps people thrive. When someone says "I have feedback for you," your amygdala-the primitive alarm system-floods your body with stress hormones. Blood rushes to your limbs preparing you to run. Your vision narrows. Your thinking brain goes offline. This made sense when facing actual predators, but today's threats are psychological, not physical. What truly terrifies us isn't the feedback itself but the fear of rejection, isolation, and losing our place in the group.
How We Ruined Feedback and Why Our Brains Make It Worse
The Surprising Power of Getting Feedback Right and Shifting Mindsets
Redefining Feedback as a Tool for Growth
Building Trust Through Fairness, Focus, and Frequency
Practical Tools for Feedback Conversations and Embracing Different Roles
Creating a World Where Feedback Helps
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From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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