What Do Women Want? by Daniel Bergner Summary
Overview of What Do Women Want?
Bergner's explosive exploration of female desire demolishes sexual stereotypes with groundbreaking science. Translated into 15 languages and praised by Salon as "a book every woman on earth should read," it reveals the shocking truth: women's sexuality may be far wilder than we've been told.
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Key takeaways
Everything You Thought You Knew About Women's Desire Is Wrong
A woman sits in a laboratory, watching explicit footage flash across a screen. Her body responds - blood flow increases, physical arousal spikes - but when asked what she's feeling, she reports nothing. No attraction. No desire. Just clinical observation. This isn't an anomaly. It's the norm. And it reveals something startling: women's bodies know something their minds won't admit. For centuries, we've been told that female sexuality is naturally modest, relationship-focused, and less intense than male desire. Science seemed to confirm it. Culture celebrated it. But what if this comforting story was never true? What if women's desire has been powerful all along - just hidden beneath layers of social conditioning so thick that even women themselves can't always access it? Psychologist Meredith Chivers revolutionized our understanding with a simple tool: a plethysmograph that measures vaginal blood flow during arousal. Her findings shattered assumptions. Women's bodies responded to an astonishing range of sexual imagery - heterosexual scenes, lesbian encounters, even bonobos mating - regardless of their stated sexual orientation. Straight women showed strong physical responses to lesbian erotica. Lesbian women's bodies reacted to heterosexual scenes. Meanwhile, men's arousal patterns aligned precisely with their preferences: straight men responded to women, gay men to men, with mechanical predictability. This "anarchic" arousal pattern reveals something profound. Female sexuality isn't more restrained - it's more flexible, more expansive, perhaps more powerful than we've acknowledged.
The Profound Disconnect Between Body and Mind
The Cultural Suppression of Female Passion
The Narcissistic Secret and the Power of Being Desired
Fantasies of Submission and the Paradox of Control
When Monogamy Becomes Desire's Cage
Reclaiming What Was Never Lost
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"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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