Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession by Lisa A. Phillips Summary
Overview of Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession
Unrequited love drives women to obsession - Lisa Phillips courageously explores this taboo through personal stories and cultural analysis. Featured in Psychology Today and NPR, this book validates the silent suffering millions experience. What dangerous line separates devotion from destruction?
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Key takeaways
The Dawn Knock That Changed Everything
What drives a rational person to show up at someone's door before sunrise, uninvited and unwanted? This isn't a hypothetical question-it's a confession. That November morning, slipping past security and knocking persistently until he answered, baseball bat in hand, marked the moment of reckoning. The fear in his eyes wasn't just about an unwelcome visitor; it reflected back a stranger I'd become: the desperate woman who couldn't let go. This raw admission opens a larger truth about unrequited love that affects nearly all of us. Research reveals that 93 percent of people experience one-sided love at some point, yet we rarely discuss it honestly. Instead, we judge women who pursue unavailable partners far more harshly than men doing the same. While John Cusack holding a boombox outside his beloved's window becomes iconic cinema, women in similar positions become cautionary tales-pitiful neurotics or dangerous "bunny boilers." This double standard runs deep, from Hollywood to everyday conversations, revealing our profound discomfort with female desire and aggression. Yet within this painful experience lies unexpected potential for transformation, creativity, and self-discovery.
The Paradox of Wanting What You Can't Have
When Persistence Becomes Delusion
The Doubting Madness and Gender Reversal
When Pursuit Crosses Into Dangerous Territory
The Developmental Value of Unrequited Love
From Suffering to Transformation
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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