The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene Summary
Overview of The Explosive Child
Transform your approach to challenging children with Dr. Greene's revolutionary method that replaces punishment with collaboration. This paradigm-shifting guide has dramatically reduced juvenile recidivism rates from 70% to 15% - proof that understanding, not punishment, creates lasting behavioral change.
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Key takeaways
When Explosions Signal Missing Skills, Not Bad Behavior
Imagine your child melting down over something seemingly trivial-a broken cookie, a change in plans, or homework frustration. Your instinct might be to punish, plead, or give in. But what if these explosions aren't willful defiance but signals that your child lacks crucial skills? This revolutionary perspective forms the foundation of Dr. Ross Greene's approach. Traditional parenting assumes children misbehave because they want something or haven't been disciplined effectively. Greene flips this completely: "Kids do well if they can." When children aren't doing well, it's not because they lack motivation-it's because they lack skills. Seven-year-old Philip didn't dump eggs in the sink to be defiant; he lacked the flexibility to handle unexpected changes, the emotional regulation to manage disappointment, and the communication skills to express his needs appropriately. This paradigm shift transforms how we respond to challenging behaviors. Instead of asking "How can I make my child behave?" we ask "What's getting in my child's way?" Behind every tantrum or explosive episode lies a set of underdeveloped cognitive skills-not character flaws or deliberate choices. Many explosive children struggle with cognitive flexibility-the ability to adapt when things don't go as expected. For six-year-old Courtney, a rained-out park visit wasn't just disappointing; it was catastrophic because her rigid thinking made shifting gears impossible. Another common challenge is difficulty managing emotions. While all children experience strong feelings, most develop the ability to set emotions aside temporarily to think clearly. Problem-solving difficulties compound these challenges-when faced with obstacles, these children either act impulsively or freeze. Communication difficulties make everything worse. Children lacking language skills may resort to physical responses like hitting because they literally don't know what else to say.
Identifying Unsolved Problems and Choosing Your Approach
The Art of Understanding Your Child's Perspective
Sharing Your Perspective and Finding Solutions
From Chaos to Connection: A New Family Dynamic
Implementing the Collaborative Problem-Solving Approach
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"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
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"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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