Far From The Tree by Andrew Solomon Summary
Overview of Far From The Tree
Andrew Solomon's masterpiece explores families raising exceptional children, challenging our understanding of identity and difference. This 10-year, 300-family study won the National Book Critics Circle Award and was praised by Pulitzer winner Siddhartha Mukherjee as "astonishingly humane" - expanding humanity through stories of extraordinary love.
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Key takeaways
When Children Fall Far From the Tree
What happens when a child is born fundamentally different from their parents? Andrew Solomon spent ten years exploring this question, interviewing over 300 families where children possess traits foreign to their parents. These "horizontal identities" - from deafness to autism to transgender identity - require children to form their sense of self not from family but from peers who share their difference. Solomon's journey began with his own experience as a gay man born to straight parents. He noticed striking parallels between his journey and that of deaf people born to hearing parents - both groups often grow up with parents wishing to "fix" them before discovering affirming communities later in life. This insight revealed a profound truth: the line between "illness" and "identity" is rarely clear. Many conditions are simultaneously both, though we typically see only one aspect at a time. What makes this exploration so powerful is how it challenges our fundamental assumptions about family. We assume children will resemble their parents, that parenting means shaping children in our image. Yet these families demonstrate that reproduction is not replication. When a child falls far from the tree, parents face a choice that reveals the true nature of love: Do they try to change the child to match their expectations, or do they change themselves to embrace the child as they are?
The Paradox of Acceptance
Identity and Community: Finding Your Tribe
The Medical Paradox: Treatment vs. Acceptance
The Burden of Extraordinary Gifts
Breaking the Binary: Gender and Beyond
The Transformative Power of Difference
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From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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